


When I Die

by orphan_account



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Angst, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Bisexual Evan Hansen, Bittersweet Ending, Connor Deserves Happiness, Dead Connor Murphy (Dear Evan Hansen), Evan Hansen Deserves Happiness, Gay Connor Murphy (Dear Evan Hansen), Heavy Angst, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, My First Work in This Fandom, Songfic, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Tissue Warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-02
Updated: 2019-04-02
Packaged: 2020-01-01 12:49:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18334754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Evan gripped the paper in his hands, the tears that stained the damned thing making it rip slightly in places. Sob after strangled sob came from the boy, his grief of losing him taking priority over the surrounding world.Others had tried to pull the boy from his despair and heartache, but they simply didn't know what to say. There was nothing they COULD say. He was gone.





	When I Die

**Author's Note:**

> Why am I doing this to characters I love?

Evan gripped the paper in his hands, the tears that stained the damned thing making it rip slightly in places. Sob after strangled sob came from the boy, his grief of losing _him_ taking priority over the surrounding world.

Others had tried to pull the boy from his despair and heartache, but they simply didn't know what to say. There was nothing they COULD say. He was gone. And Heidi was terrified that Evan, her everything, would follow soon after. It was with great reluctance that she was convinced to leave the blonde to mourn.

Jared was a different story. He didn't know how to act around Evan, or, hell, around ANYONE, under normal circumstances. How the FUCK was he suppose to comfort the kid after this? How was he supposed to look his "family friend" in the eye, knowing that he was partially to blame for the hurt, anger, and heartbreak Jared knew he'd see behind the misty green?

~~So he didn't say anything at all.~~

Evan was oblivious to all this. He couldn't comprehend anything over the symphony in his head, a broken record of _'He's dead he's dead oh god I didn't my fault he's gone he's gone I should have known I was supposed to be able to tell he's dead MY FAULT-'_

_................_

Evan jumped at the faint touch on his shoulder. It was light, almost undetectable, and cold, but it was enough to pull the grieving teen from his self deprecating mantra. As the hand on Evan's shoulder slowly moved to his face, brushing tears away with a fragile touch, it seemed to gain substance. Black tipped fingers gently cupped the red face of the blonde, a face which was now staring into bright blue and brown eyes. "C-Connor?!"

**Author's Note:**

> Please remember to feed the author comments on your way out!  
> Next chapter is being written. (Ya know, the actual SONG part of this fic)


End file.
